Because of a fairly recent death of a family member, one of our conversations turned to grieving. People always seem to want to comfort, which is fine; but it seems to make people uncomfortable when a grieving person cries. Joe remarked that it should be all right to just cry. We should be able to feel our feelings so that we can work through them. He's right. We should be able to feel our loss, our grief, our emptiness, our anger, and whatever else comes up. Science and the medical community are now starting to agree. They're finding out that when people suppress their feelings, it can cause illness. There is a belief that suppressing feelings can be one cause of such illnesses as arthritis, heart disease and even cancer.
I think it would be better to just "be" with a person who is mourning. Let them talk, let them vent, let them cry, even cry with them. That's much more helpful than speaking perceived comforting words to try to stop them from crying. Right or wrong, when a loss is "fresh" most people want you to feel as badly as they do. They would like your world to stop, just like theirs has.
This doesn't just apply to grieving. We should feel our feelings whatever the circumstance so we can work our way through them and let them go. This will help us to lead fuller, richer lives.
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