Monday, February 13, 2012

Independence vs. Dependence

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I had bunion surgery on January 24th.  This has turned my whole world upside down.  Nothing is really "normal" in my life right now.

I am basically a pretty independent woman.  If I want to do something, I do it.  If I want to go somewhere, I go.  I don't have to wait for anyone or anything.  I do things in my timeframe, when it's convenient for me... until now.

Now I find that I'm a pretty dependent woman.  I can get around the house okay with my wheeled walker.  I just kneel on the seat with my injured leg, and push myself around with my healthy leg.  It works out pretty well.  But there are limitations.  I can't get myself a cup of tea for instance, or a bowl of soup.  I have no way to transport them without spilling.  I need my hands to steer my walker.  I have a bag attached to my walker so I can transport things like bottled water, fruit and a sandwich.  But hot stuff is impossible.  So if I want something hot to eat, I have to depend on my husband, family and friends.  A task as simple as taking a shower is a team sport these days.  (I won't go into the details.)

Getting out of the house takes care, planning, and a team effort.  We have only three steps, thank God.  What a chore!!!  Thank goodness my husband is strong and healthy.  I wouldn't be able to go anywhere without him and I am very appreciative.

Being an independent person, this whole thing is very difficult for me.  I'm used to being the giver, the helper, the fixer, the one that is there for everyone if they need me.  It's hard for me to receive.  I guess that's part of the lesson in all of this for me.  By giving, you allow people to receive.  By receiving, you allow people to give.  By doing both, you allow a continual flow of energy.  Energy flows in a circular motion.  By always giving and not receiving, you cause an imbalance, a blockage.  By always receiving and not giving, you again cause an imbalance or blockage.

As I mentioned in last week's blog, imbalance causes dis-ease.  So if we want to stay healthy, we need to find that perfect balance of giving and receiving.  Let's change that old saying, "It's better to give than to receive," to "It's better to give and receive equally".  

Love,  Paula


  1. This is my favorite article so far!!

  2. Nancy Borden-Thornton, RMTFebruary 23, 2012 at 12:13 PM

    There is all kinds of organizations bringing balance back to the world, I would like to post about the one I am involved in. Because You Care takes in stray and abused dogs and cats, I joined a year and a half ago, and it has been such a positive influence in my life. I have become a foster home, and also add and take off the animals on a site called Petfinder. It has made me aware of the problems these poor creatures face every day and it makes my spirit soar to know that they are now being taken care of. I have met many wonderful people also, they give their time, money, homes, and all their love to these animals. My grandchildren have become aware of the problem and help out at our home. They also have expressed an interest in taking in stray and abused animals when they are old enough. What a great learning experience for them also!
    As you can tell I can't say enough about this organization. It has changed the energy not only in me and my family, but also is giving back positive energy to all involved.